Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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