is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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