I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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