dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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