something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
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We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
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that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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