Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
