Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
