is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Randomize