Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
