Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
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