Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so much tequila, so little girl.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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