yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize