go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
