we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
