I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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