Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
