haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
