I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
