He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
