i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
