thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize