you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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