I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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