I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
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Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
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He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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