What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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