Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize