i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
