You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
