I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize