I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
