she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
