You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
