I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
