i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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