I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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