she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
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