Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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