I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
