i just wanna soil my oats bro
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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