Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
babies were throwing up all over the place
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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