I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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