I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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