First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize