I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
