Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
