I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
