once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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