Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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