8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
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