drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
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