I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
