The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Randomize
