1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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