he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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