you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize