If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize