Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
