My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
So. Much. Porn.
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