Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
