I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Your cock deserves a montage
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
