Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
