what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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