He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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