i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Four minutes until I can fart!
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Randomize
