I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Randomize
