WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
A+ Viking dick
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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