I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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