It's like a parade of train wrecks.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
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