ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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